In Honour of those who Protect and Serve

In the year 2012 - after 2000 years of enlightenment and discovery - Ontario has chosen to charge a police officer with second degree murder.  A young man who puts his life on the line every day to protect and serve us "formed the intent" to murder an individual on the wrong side of the law.   How backwards is that?  No prior relationship with the individual, no axe to grind, just woke up in the morning and decided to shoot this particular person while carrying out this particular search warrant for illegal gun possession - how random, how sublime? 

Frankly, I am bewildered and shocked that our Canadian culture/mindset, call it what you will, has reached a point where we charge police officers with second degree murder.  How is it possible that he "formed the intent to murder"?  Police officers carry a weapon every day, putting themselves at lethal risk every day protecting us from those who don't comply with the law.  These men and women do not get up in the morning to sit behind desks directing and managing a slew of harmless paper. They constantly find themselves in harms way, facing unpredictable, volatile, and potentially deadly situations.  

Perhaps a little empathy is in order here - would you and I always be able react in the perfect manner when making a split second decision?  Surely, we have to allow them the possibility of making mistakes - and because of the nature of their work - some of those mistakes will have lethal consequences.   Obviously there are consequences for making mistakes .... but second degree murder??

I can't help but make the comparison with our medical profession - people die every day in operating theatres, in hospital wards, and doctors offices because of incorrect diagnoses, botched surgeries, incorrect medications, delayed care, etc.  Why don't we make the leap and charge them with second degree murder for their mistakes?  The surgeons scalpel is surely just as potentially lethal as the police officers gun, is it not?

The pendulum of social mores has swung so far to the left in the ivory tower of political correctness that we are hanging by a gossamer thread to reality, and in imminent danger of plunging over the abyss of perfection.

Written and dedicated to the men and women who protect and serve, and especially to those who have given their lives in service to us all.  Constable Styles and others like him need to know we are grateful for their sacrifices.  

From Your Heart to Mine

Valentines Day 2012 - still magical, still celebrated.  We have been married more than 34 years now, and there is still sunshine, sparkles and fireworks.  Our relationship has grown, matured, and consolidated over time.  We seem to have weathered the worst of challenges and still come through the other side with a positive attitude and a strengthened resolve.

This year my husband took an afternoon off work to go home and prepare a delicious dinner.  He went to the trouble of laying a very romantic table replete with red candles and red roses.  I could only come home and heave a great sigh of contentment.

 I am very thankful and grateful for what we have together.  Here's wishing that we have much more time together.  How lucky can one person be??

Love You Forever and Always.

Escapade to Buffalo

This is a late entry that should have been posted pre-Christmas.  But in line with my 'intentions' it's worth a few finger taps to keys.  The story is about our sojourn to Buffalo for a weekend with two goals in mind:  shopping for bargains with no HST attached; and a few days of living in a bubble.  I am happy to say that both goals were accomplished with ease.

Firstly, the outlet malls on the south side of the Niagara Falls are a veritable Aladdin's Cave of treasures.  We found clothing marked down 50% and then received another 10% at the till for shopping that day - everyone was happy with our choices of Eddie Bauer, Ann Taylor, etc.  I was particularly pleased with a Kate Spade find.  And was it just my imagination or wishful thinking?  We found retail staff to be smiling, happy, and eager to help wherever we went.  In the big stores like Fifth Ave and Macy's, to the little ones offering very specific goods - all staff were available, easy to find, and ready to help - which is not always the case in our home town in Canada.  There, Sears at the local Mall sometimes feels like navigating a labyrinth - you have to negotiate walking sideways down dark alleys of racks of clothing, and then rummage through the stacks to find a worthy item, where bargains are usually no bargains - certainly not in the 50 to 80% range we experienced in Buffalo.  No sales people to be found anywhere on the floor so don't expect any help there.  The fitting rooms require standing in line weighed down by your prospective purchases, and then the final quest to find the check out cashier - an exercise in patience as you stand in a long queue waiting your turn to pay.

Our second goal of rest and relaxation was easily met - no phone calls, no interruptions, no chores - just quietly   relaxing in a bubble of contentment - quiet room, lots of books, a couple of movies, good food in restaurants with much cheaper bills, and a lie-in Sunday morning - something we never seem to do at home.

Have to talk about the game we played in parking lots - counting the number of Canadian number plates in a row - 11 was the most we saw - so we were in good company!

Wonderful weekend and one we will repeat soon.  

New Year Intentions

2012 is upon us and as usual I have a myriad of resolutions flying around my head.  Research tells us that about 50% of us make New Year's resolutions, but 22% fail within one week and 60% after 6 months (R Koestner, McGill University).

So instead of resolutions this time round, I will contemplate ten intentions.  A measure of success will be if I can accomplish time goals at least 75% of the time:

1. To write: a monthly newsletter to friends and family and a weekly blog.
2. To phone home to mom every Sunday.
3. To be fit enough by October to run the CIBC Cure for Cancer 5km race in Burlington.

4. To eat more healthy: less sugar, smaller portions, and lose 20lbs before the wedding, whenever that is.
5. To listen to my Spanish tapes in the car twice a week and actually practice speaking to someone.
6. To finish the Blurb book in the summer.
7. To get back to posting actual photos in actual albums.
And 2 more of the less measurable kind:
8. To procrastinate less. 
9. To be more organized.
And 1 to always keep in mind:
10. To be more relaxed, more patient, and more generous to others; and on the other end - less anxious, less cynical, and less impulsive.

Let's see how it goes....

Reflections

Today I have a new vision:

The ocean will be the icon by which I will steer my course.

I will surf its waves, find its ports, ride out its storms.

And most of all, I will cherish its safe harbours.

I will float, peacefully and quietly,

on a sea of calm whenever it presents itself,

storing up energy for days when gales may blow,

or when waters are rough, turbid or unforgiving.

I will be unperturbed by dark and ominous clouds overhead,

for they too, must pass.

I will know that

Change is a constant.

I will remember, each day,

to be thankful for the beauty and vibrancy underneath its waters,

for the hues of colour spread around the world,

and for the life it brings.

I will find solace in tide pools

left to bathe in the sunshine of an outgoing tide,

reflecting a microcosm of the oceans portent.

I will be watchful of high tides, swift currents, and... jellyfish.

I will find happiness in a sibilant shell;

wet, white sand oozing around my toes;

the damp salt spray dancing on a fresh wind,

and the brilliance of a sunset shimmering across the wide horizon.

I am a tiny emblem in the vastness and depths beyond myself.

I am a moment in time

and

I choose to ride on the crests of waves.

ABC's of New Year's Strategies to Live By

A is for Attitude - keep it positive, Adapt and Accept.
B is for Bold and Brave - take risks, make mistakes.
C is for Children - yours and mine - give them a better world.
D - Dance as if no-one is watching.
E - Efficiency and organization in all you do
F - Friendships to be nurtured and maintained.
G - Go as far as you are able, reach as high as you can, strive for all you can.
H - Help out wherever and whenever possible.
I - Invest your time wisely.  Gain Insight.
J - Jump for Joy at least once a day.
K - Kindness to others - try every day.
L - Learn - to speak fluent French and Spanish or something new: Tai Chi, Cello or maybe Line Dancing.
M - Motivate yourself and others.
N - Now is the moment - live it well.
O - Observe and Listen.
P - Patience and Persistence.
Q - Quality in work and relationships counts.
R - Relax and go with the flow.  Be flexible.
S - Save money and budget.
T - Travel on new adventures.
U - Utilize all your talents.
V - Validate and verify - don't jump to conclusions.
W - Worry less.  Weigh your words wisely.
X - eXercise! Enough said.
Y - You are the author of your life story - choose your path carefully.
Z - zest for life - keep it up!

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

A New and Exciting Pathway

The last day of 2011 brought with it winds of change.
Tiffany and Andrew are engaged to be married and we are all very happy for them.
Congratulations to you both.

It will be exciting to follow them on their journey over the next few months.  All those decisions to be made: date, venue, dress, location.  We have hours of fun and discussion to look forward to, and much to accomplish in the coming months.

Exciting times indeed!

Merry Christmas to All

To family and friends around the world:

2011 is just a few days from ending and once again we have had a whirlwind year.  It seems I always use the analogy of a rollercoaster - perhaps a better one would be that we seem to be perpetual visitors at Canada's Wonderland or Disneyland USA - rollercoasters, drop zones, and ferris wheels are perennial favorites featuring the joys, fun and laughter on the upswings and stress-inducing, stomach flopping, eye-popping downturns from dizzy heights.

The upswings have included the joys of making it into the ranks of the permanently employed at the School Board, making new friends along the way, and learning more than I thought I ever could at my age.  Patrick slogged his way through another year and is one year closer to retirement - not too many to go now.

We survived a renovation and love living with the results. The house has been updated and modernized with new light fixtures, hardwood floors and a new stairway.  The bathrooms and kitchen have granite counters and all the rooms look fresh with a new coat of paint.  The only thing left on the wish list is a new front door.  Cleaning is a breeze and storage has been vamped up so that we even look more organized. 

A memorable holiday in Peru during the summer was spectacular - Machu Picchu was on the bucket list for quite awhile, but will now make way for a new adventure....yet to be decided.  Our choices are Australia or Annapurna or somewhere in Europe, but whatever the destination, it will have to wait for 2013 or 2014.  Next year will have us zooming off to the homeland in August en famille – all five of us which will make it a very exciting trip – we will most likely head for the Natal Zululand coast – hoping to spend time with as many of the family as we can and maybe taking in the sights like Oribi Gorge, and Aliwal Shoals.

Our girls are well and happy - Andrew and Tiffany bought their first home and have settled right in.  The fence is up, the painting is done and it looks lovely.  It suits the animals as well – now Wes (the very large German Shepherd) has plenty space to play.  Courtney made her first successful moves in life after years of school.  We are looking forward to hearing more of her exploits. 

To all of you, we wish a wonderful Christmas and may 2012 bring health, happiness and fulfill some dreams as well. 

Hoping to catch a glimpse of all of you along the way.

All our love 

Patrick and Cecily   

Lest we Forget.

Remembrance Day is particularly poignant when you work in the school system here in Canada.  Children of all ages and in all grades tackle specific projects and assignments for weeks in advance of the special day. Their work culminates in imaginative and creative presentations, dramas, posters, artwork, and chorals on November 11.  It makes your heart glad to see students as young as 6 and all the way up to the graduating class of Grade 12 immersing themselves enthusiastically in holding onto the memories of sacrifice and bravery of soldiers in all the wars past and present.

At the school, ceremonies are held in the company of old warriors and young soldiers in uniforms bearing medals.  It tugs at your heart strings when you watch them salute in honour of those who have fallen.  It is truly remarkable to witness the respect given by the young who are largely untouched by the strife and mayhem of war.

It feels good to be a participant in the annual cycle that keeps the flame of remembrance burning.

My Personal Fairygodmother

My wish has finally been granted.  My fairy godmother has arrived at last and waved her magic wand in front of my pumpkin.  Now, every second week, I close my eyes, make a wish on a bright star in the night sky and, hey presto! the next day my pumpkin of a house is sparkling clean.

After 33 years of maid-free marriage we have finally taken the plunge.  Two angels come every second Thursday and transform our house from dismal to delightful in a few short hours.  They get into corners and crevices where I would never think of going.  When I am the cleaner, some of corners that I do see, I measure in terms of "will someone else see that?", "is it worth my energy?" or "will it really matter so much if I leave it for another week?" My specialty is cutting corners, whilst my fairy godmothers appear to head in for the tackle and spruce them up.

After each occasion, I have to say that walking into a sparkling clean house is like winning a prize: invigorating, refreshing, and energizing.  I love the added touches: like artfully folded towels in the guest washroom, a cleaned out fridge, and even a bed replete with fresh linens.  The nicest surprise of all - an occasional bunch of flowers on my table.  What more could a woman want?  It's better than ...chocolate.  

Halloooooween

You know that Fall is well and truly here, and the freezing hands of Winter cold on its tail by the time Halloween comes round.   This year we have foregone the gutting of a giant pumpkin in favour of a lightweight styrofoam look-a-like that lights up at the flick of a switch - safer, cleaner, and far less energy draining.  The black cat - all arched back and fangs, the huge black spider dangling down, and the scary wreath deck the porch in anticipation of bunches of munchkins trailing pillow cases and garbage bags for all their goodies.  


As soon as the sun sets, the weird, wonderful and wackily dressed, trot up to front doors in the neighbourhood with a chorus of "Trick or Treat".  Of course, never expecting anything other than handfuls of candy plopped into ever growing sacks.  Little ladybugs, bees, princesses and Elmo's eyes grow wide if you challenge with "Trick".  On the other hand, vampires, soldiers and zombies eyes roll up in the teenage signal for the bored "whatever".  In all cases, loot bags are thrust forward anyway and all beat a hasty retreat once the prize is in their possession.  Be sure to give the teenagers a nice load of chocolate or candy - the more satisfied they are, the less likely you will wake up to eggs drooling down the brickwork and toilet paper wrapped creatively around your trees.
This year, we bought two boxes of chocolate bars well ahead of time.  Big mistake! It was far too easy to sneak a bar every time you walk past the offending enticement.  The pounds were settling in on the hips before I asked husband (he of much greater discipline and willpower) to hide the loot far enough away that the "Eat me, eat me" voices could not be heard.  Still had a hard time resisting, and spent some fruitless nights tiptoeing around with a torch peering under couches, opening drawers, lifting pillows and crawling under beds.  Felt like the Pink Panther!
Ah well, voodoo children have been fed, the house is thankfully left intact, and the last of the candy has been donated to more worthy causes than my tastebuds.  November is here and we are now officially close to Christmas....
Have a BOOOtiful night! 
     

The Scourge that is Vanity.

I'd like to think that I am stepping gracefully and elegantly into my senior years, but I've come to realise that that probably means different things to different people.  From my perspective, it doesn't mean embracing matronly conservative pant suits, I won't be wearing polyester nylon anytime soon, and birkenstocks are far into my future.  On the other hand, baby doll sandals and spaghetti straps have gone the way of the dodo.  After all, there is reality to face... or is it gravity?  Those upper arms flap just a little bit more, and going bra-free would just scare the neighbours.  Still, I like colour - vibrant colours for some of my shirts, a great pair of red stilettos, rainbow scarves, hi-lites and colour to mask the gray, coral and aqua jackets.  Can't say that I have ever mastered 'chic', but I try to keep up.
A conversation that hardly ever comes up in genteel or regular conversations, however, is the topic of extraneous hair.  No-one tells us at 21 that at 51 or 61, the invisible down fleetingly seen in occasional sunlight when you're young, turns into black, wiry tensile cable visible from three yards (to all those under 40, with their pristine vision).  We stand, bespectacled and squinting, in front of mirrors that magnify, painstakingly plucking the offending wire from our chins and upper lips.  As hormones dwindle, we become frequent flyers at the local beauty parlor, where we willingly and desparately undergo the torturous delights of facial waxing, leg waxing and that other waxing in the nether regions - although most of us oldies usually forego that pleasure unless we are off on the annual vacation, where we can anonymously and inconspicuously don the ubiquitous full piece bathing suit, which hopefully rides low enough so that no eye popping may occur from the younger set. 

And woe betide that you should have daughters - at least they're honest and actually tell you that you have black hairs sprouting and curling from your chin.  Three growing close together allows you to contemplate braiding as a statement, but convention usually dictates otherwise.  Not to speak of the humiliation as she tells you to go get the tweezers and then proceeds to pull away, all the while lecturing about "you shouldn't have let it go this far!  But what is one to do? Even with glasses the little beggers are hard to see.

The aha moment swept me up with excitement - off to the electrolysis lady - who is sure to wave her magic wand and rid me of my problem forever.    Oh, the shock and terror when I finally lay down for my 30 minutes of problem solved.  No fairy godmother waving her magic wand for me! She might as well have been dressed in leathers and carried a whip - does anyone know the pain of having a needle jabbed through seven layers of epidermis, down the hair follicle to the root, and at the end of which experience the hair-raising jolt as electricity buzzes the poor hair in such a manner so that it jumps right out of its skin.  The worst part - some of those little hairs have no intention of budging, so dominatrix lady zaps you a few more times for good measure.  Now that is one hair follicle - imagine another hundred of the little soldiers! 

Amazingly, I willingly submitted myself to this procedure and even paid for the privilege.  But it's kind of like the childbirth phenomenon - you forget about the pain once it's over.  I have to say that the end result was worth the effort and I will take myself off to the 'chamber' a couple more times to be finally rid of the problem.

The joys of growing old gracefully!

Backyard Bandits

For a garden that is far less than half an acre, we sure do attract a lot of wildlife.  Squirrels and chipmunks have set up apartments in the tree trunks.  We have blue jays, cardinals, juncos and chickadees who empty our bird feeders daily.  There are a few pigeons, and a duo of wood doves who had a pair of beautiful babies this last spring.  We have skunks who wander by, and bunnies who hop in for a munch every evening.  They all love the watering hole, the feeders and the fresh food we leave out for their dining pleasure.

By far our biggest residents are the two raccoons who have built their home in our pergola, well camouflaged by a flourishing wisteria.  These nocturnal animals swish down like firemen on poles in the evening, and waddle off to try their luck dining at our local restaurant.  Unlike the chipmunk who shoots up the vertical iron pole on which the feeding station hangs and successfully gobbles up seed, these lumbering creatures are destined to fail.  Pretty persistent though - they try acrobatics from the tree branches, only for gravity to kick in and head them tumbling to the ground.  Then they try climbing the 2 cm diameter pole, hanging on with fingernails locked - to no avail - they just can't make it to the feeder.  In the end, defeated and still hungry they climb the fence to, hopefully, greener pastures.  They must do ok, because they return to their perch to forage another day.   

Let's hope they don't become pesky pests.

Thanksgiving

Here we are at Thanksgiving again.  What a wonderful long-weekend we had.  Temperatures up in the mid-twenties giving us an extravagant excess of summer.  Children back in the fold for a warm family get-together.  Friendships renewed around festive tables of plenty.

I am thankful for:

My children and our continuing relationships

A husband who cares

Friendships old and new

Health - ours, our family's, and our friends

Then jobs - at least we have them - when I see gray haired old men with placards round their necks pleading for work... I am happy we have ours.

A roof over our head ....even if it is mortgaged.

Plenty of food on the table - imagine being a child in Haiti, a mother in Sudan.

I am grateful for:

The opportunities that have presented themselves  

A thinking brain - the ability to question, debate, recall, inform and listen

The ability to read

I appreciate:

The birds who visit our feeders

People who help me

Vacations that come round every year

Warm summer evenings outside on the patio and cosy winter nights round the fire

A car that doesn't break down - touch wood

A sense of humour

A caring attitude

Thanksgiving - lots to be thankful for.

Think Pink

 October has become known as the month for communities across Canada to get into the swing of raising money for cancer research.  We have the annual Terry Fox Run - a wonderful human being who set across Canada on one good leg and one prosthetic to raise awareness and cash for research in the 80's.  Unfortunately, he died at about 20 years old, but left a legacy that has continued to raise millions in donations each year. 

And then we have Run for the Cure - this one is especially for breast cancer - for the survivors and for the fallen.  It's an annual event in towns and cities across Canada.  Participants run or walk 5 kms on a brisk and early Sunday morning in early October.  Their faces mirror everyone in our midst - young and old, male and female: infants in strollers, exuberant 10 year olds, competitive runners in the front of the pack, grannies huffing along and all of us in between. 

Over the years, I have always stood on the sidelines - donated to others to do the running and then watched the newsrooms tot up the money total at the end of the day. This year I took up the invitation to do the real thing.  

And it was fun - dressed up in the gear, the runners and a pink boa, joining the throngs to walk 5kms.  Everyone wore the uniform: white t-shirt with bright pink Run for the Cure writings.  Instead of a runner's number, we wrote the names of those who we were running for - past and present.  It was inspiring to see the names: for 'mom', for 'aunt Sarah', for Granny.  Runners and walkers as far as the eye could see - thousands in each town.  Wellwishers along the way waving us on, waterbowls set out for dogs and bottled water for us - just like the real thing.  The finish line came all too quickly.  All very exhilarating and such a wonderful cause.

Till next year.  
We run in remembrance and in hope.

Shingles Sharpshooter

I have to write a tribute to my fearless, tenacious, persistent and persevering husband.  He tackles all the outside chores - usually willingly, and usually very professionally.  He has constructed, repaired and maintained all kinds of jobs - from laying underground sprinkler systems, digging garden beds and walkways, adding light fixtures, decks, pergolas and patios.  He is the only one who gets the pool chemicals just right.  Usually without grumbling, he digs the holes for new plants and follows directions on pruning. 

I, on the other hand, have been called the supervisor/foreman, or when he is really irritable - the dratted architect - I'm the ideas person and he is the doer.  I play the goffer to the handyman - fetch this, bring that, hold it, pass it kind of role.  But I am the queen of clean-up.

This time round he has surpassed even himself - we now have a brand new cedar gazebo that we can utilize for at least 3 seasons of the year.  It's big enough to house an outdoor lounge suite so that we are sitting comfortably in the shade, protected from the sun and rain.  Again due to his talents, we have electricity wired in so that we have light to read by in the evenings, an electric mosquito zapper for early spring and a heater for fall.

Altogether a great job accomplished.  The most hair-raising of all though,  - watching him stand on the roof shooting nails into shingles.  At least he jerry-rigged a safety harness - he never needed it, but one has to wonder.... would it have worked??

Thank you very much for another check on the honeydo list.  You are one in a million!